Hey brides! Today’s Monday Marriage Tip is short and sweet, but hugely important. And it may seem obvious, but if you stick with me until the end, I’ll go a little deeper as to why this is so important. NEVER COMPARE HIM TO OTHER MEN. Unless of course your comparison is how great he is just like how great this other guy is. Even then, I’d choose your words very wisely because he may not like something about that guy and just think of that. But, I’m obviously talking about the “I wish you were more like so and so” type of comparison. This will likely wound him deeply and be difficult words for him to overcome.
I inadvertently did this early on in my marriage. Angel and I were in a little spat over the dishes not being done, or something silly like that. Sadly, I’m just not a good homemaker. I hate cleaning. I really do. My biggest dream in life is to have a housekeeper who will keep our home spotless and I won’t have to do anything, haha! I figure, hey, we are helping the economy by giving someone a job, right?! Anyway – back to the point – my husband is kind of a neat freak, which tends to work out for me because he does a lot of the cleaning 🙂 However, occasionally he will get upset if I leave a big mess and don’t attend to it in a timely manner. One day, feeling justified over my messiness and how hard I work on other things, I blurted out something along the lines of “well, if I was like ‘Bob’s’ wife who doesn’t have to work you would have a spotless house.” What I meant to say is “I’m tired, I work a lot and it’s hard for me to be excellent at everything”. What he heard was that he is not as much of a man as ‘Bob’ who makes enough money for his wife to just stay at home and do whatever she wants. And trust me, this stuck with him for longer than I’d like.
Sometimes in the heat of an argument, you may feel really upset and want to say something cutting back, but trust me, the damage is not worth it. Men are actually much more sensitive than we realize and need to be built up by their wives, never torn down. The saying “sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me” is just not true, friends. Words do hurt, especially from the ones you love the most. And when a habit is made of cutting remarks thrown at eachother when in an argument, walls in your marriage can build up very fast, driving you further apart little by little. Be careful with your words to protect your marriage.
Have a great week!
P.S. Did you like this post? You may also enjoy last week’s tip, which you can read HERE